Professional Crossroad

While driving earlier to work, I kept thinking about my professional life/career. I love love my job and the company I'm working for. As it is one of the best and leading companies, it is such an honor to work here. Unfortunately as I am just a project hire, there's this slim chance of me being regularized (ever) and of course, be given a raise. I have been working here for a little over a year. I  have ups and downs but I manage pretty well. If I did not have fun as much as I am now, I would have been gone a long time.


As a worker or employee, you would want to seek a better opportunity. Far more better and greater than the last one. I am still holding on as there is a new project and there might be a chance I get promoted or be regularized with full benefits. While I'm all up for that, there's this long grueling process of proving yourself to everyone that you're worth that promotion so to speak. I really want the promotion and I know they're eyeing me because I'm a pioneer employee. The thing is, I'm not that motivated to really get it. Slowly, I've started to come to work early and initiated meetings and calibrations, etc but that's that. Well, we'll see how things would go. I haven't found an absolute or formidable fallback yet but I'll take each day as it is and test the waters then.

Xx,
L

Fruit of your Passion

I am close to working for 10 months in my current company. I have not stayed this long in any other job, except the one I got when I was working three times a week for a Church as their bookkeeper. There have been offers for me lately but I do not seem to be interested in them, even if they're offering me a higher salary and a regular post. You see, I am only a project hire employee which means that when this project ends so does my employment. I have had a renewal of four months and that contract is expiring by the end of next month.

I know I will be given another contract since I was the one who started or piloted  under the VisMin operation. I don't know if that will earn merit in terms of changing my status into a "regular" employee and that remains to be seen. I was just confident that I will be renewed for an extension/ another contract since I have fared well, based on my KRA.

Today, I was not expecting any good news at all. We had a meeting at around 10AM and ended up at around 2PM. We were not able to have lunch up until we finished with the meeting. Meetings are draining but the upside is that you learn and things get resolved. After lunch I was back to my laptop, checking e-mails and updating my monitoring list when my boss called me up. I was thinking "Oh great! There might be a problem..." since we just parted after meeting and lunch now she's calling!

To my surprise, she just called me to inform me that she has all the materials I need, my payslips, and I have a letter. I realized then that I was not able to inform her about my expiring contract. I then told her about my status and she assured me that a new contract is on it's way. I was so happy to hear that! I love working for this company and I have not had major problems since I started. And I love my boss. I have developed a closer relationship with her that she really looks out for me and takes good care of me. She's a great boss- encouraging, helpful and insightful. I wish I could be like her if in case I stay for even longer.

I am just ecstatic that I'm still here and I have a job to keep me happy. It truly is great if you do things with passion because it becomes fruitful. It makes sense to you, and does not make you feel like you are burdened or bombarded with senseless information and work. Construction, operation and customer relations may not have been my strengths but I acquired a certain respect for it and for people who make things/systems work. Passion fuels us to become better and in return we reap rewards. I have learned that whatever you may be doing, be it your strength or not, as long as you have passion, you will excel.

How about you, what's your passion?

xx,
L

Burnout

How many times can a person feel this way? I feel like I have a very very short fuse. I don't like what I'm feeling! This is the first time I am ever really passionate (well, aside from my accessory store) and yet I'm not feeling too good about it now. It seems like every time I work, at first it's something I'm very positive and so passionate about. Six months later, that same passion is nowhere to be found and work becomes, well... work. I do not enjoy it anymore. I am just getting by the day without being proactive. I come to work and do what they need me to do and not what I have to do.

I have a very complex job and being involved in operations is quite an interesting job but also too physically tiring! I do not have a lot of complaints about my job because I get to have time for myself and even time to go out with friends even on a weekday. However, things are taking slowly taking a toll on my body and I'm super stressed out with work. I think it's really different if you really love what you do and you visualize yourself living and breathing your job. For me, I came into picture because I needed a job and they needed someone to do the job.

I really need a break. :(

Unusual Heartbreak

2 months ago, I underwent an ultrasound. I was not expecting to have one, although i did expect to be pregnant. I went to a gynecologist to have myself checked since all pregnancy tests i took came back negative. Many girls my age would be so happy, close to triumphant even that they aren't- but I'm not. I wanted to get pregnant. I wanted to have my own baby. So when the gynecologist couldn't figure out my case, he suggested I get an ultrasound test.


I was really scared, not because it was my first time but because the test might bear bad news. Ultimately, it did. I found out I wasn't pregnant and knowing why made me feel really weak. My legs were shaking a lil bit. My heart was pounding and I felt like all my blood rushed from my head down to the ground in a matter of seconds. I was terrified. But I was even terrified of what PJ would say. I was thinking that maybe he'd break up with me because I COULDN'T GET PREGNANT.

I never knew I'd undergo such a case but I have bilateral polycystic ovaries. This means that both my ovaries have multiple subcapsular follicles which hinders me of pregnancy. The doctor already gave me medicine so I could have my period regularly and also prescribed something to cure my condition. However, this medicine was so hard to find! I had to ask my mom to help me in finding it to no avail and asking my mom to do that was no ordinary conversation. I really had to muster all the courage I had within me to be able to tell her my condition.

I still haven't got that prescribed medicine, that's why I'm going in for a check-up with another gynecologist. I really feel so heartbroken over this matter. It's terrifying to know that I might not actually be able to reproduce. Of all my friends, I'm the one who's really close to kids and vocally expressing my desire to have a child. I'm still very hopeful though that I'll be able to get through this. I'm still young and I have a long time to recover from all this trauma. I still believe that one day, God will look down on me and will allow me to have my desire come to reality. I'm hoping for the best.


Never give up!

larraineBee ❤