Freeze

Posting something and backing out because I'm chicken shit like that. My drafts are full of promise, but I do not want to cross where lines are drawn. I'd love to have my thoughts published, know people feel the same way so I don't get weirded out or doubt myself. I'm always telling myself that "it's okay, it's normal." I'm way over the age limit for a qurter life crisis and I am not under crisis! I wish my thoughts would cooperate. However reality is a bitch. And boy am I stubborn. Living in my make-believe seems to be a way to cope out of something... out of life. But of course, it's only temporary. Oh how I'd rather live in a book, a poem, a song. I wish someone could immortalize me even my momentary weakness, or temporary glory.

posted from Bloggeroid

Ellie Goulding, Hope and Closure

Explosions.

"It's okay to be afraid, but it will never be the same."

It baffles me how 1 song can and actually explain the entirety of what I feel. I am never the same, ever. Hope is a killer- it's an opium to the weary and the naïve, the gullible. Hope is a double-edged sword , a relentless reminder of why we have wonderful uncertainties and the reason we fall. As they say, too much of something is not good for you. If that's the case, hope should be banned and/ or should come at a price.


"Your intentions were gold..."

I wished we're all born with signal readers, radars or whatever you might want to call it. We come across different people not knowing the purpose and/or intention why they came or stayed. In the end, we're left wondering how we allowed what shouldn't have happened or blocked out what could've been better for us. We're left with a thirst nothing books, nor songs, nor poetry can quench. We then forget... or so we think, until something or someone reminds of what that felt like and it creates a certain hunger within us. We hunger for answers we actually know; we hunger for explanations that need not be said. We hunger for closure... closure that didn't happen for a reason.

posted from Bloggeroid

A New Change

In a few days, my life will drastically change. I cannot just think of myself alone. I have somebody else to consider. I cannot make my own decision because everything should be mutual/conjugal. I have to submit myself to everything... wholeheartedly. 

But I am not dreading this change. Scared, a little bit. Things will definitely change. But I am looking forward to my new life. I have been happy for almost 8 years and I am confident that I will still be happy for the rest of my life. 

Xx,

L❤

Professional Crossroad

While driving earlier to work, I kept thinking about my professional life/career. I love love my job and the company I'm working for. As it is one of the best and leading companies, it is such an honor to work here. Unfortunately as I am just a project hire, there's this slim chance of me being regularized (ever) and of course, be given a raise. I have been working here for a little over a year. I  have ups and downs but I manage pretty well. If I did not have fun as much as I am now, I would have been gone a long time.


As a worker or employee, you would want to seek a better opportunity. Far more better and greater than the last one. I am still holding on as there is a new project and there might be a chance I get promoted or be regularized with full benefits. While I'm all up for that, there's this long grueling process of proving yourself to everyone that you're worth that promotion so to speak. I really want the promotion and I know they're eyeing me because I'm a pioneer employee. The thing is, I'm not that motivated to really get it. Slowly, I've started to come to work early and initiated meetings and calibrations, etc but that's that. Well, we'll see how things would go. I haven't found an absolute or formidable fallback yet but I'll take each day as it is and test the waters then.

Xx,
L

Swift

It's November already! I am nearing 25 and it's freaking me out a little bit. Being 25 gets me nearer 30- the age I fear the most. Haha! It seems like I slept on the night of October 31st and now, we're a week into the month! How time flies! I wish time would go a little bit slower. Sometimes, I like to just sit and think of what happened to me in a week's time and I could see how fast people come and go; how fast events happen; how fast the days go by. Every time I think of it it wears me out, I feel tired.

Woven In

I forgot the exact date of when this was taken but I'm pretty sure it was just last week. I think we had a church meeting and went to do a few errands... grocery shopping, i guess. Recently I've been wearing skirts because of the hot weather. I love the top given to me by my mom- she bought it in Davao when she visited my dad there. The belt I'm using is a scarf that has been my fave to use. At the end of this day though, I opted to wear my flip-flops since it's really a hassle driving in heels! LOL

top: gift from my mom/skirt: SM/bag: Cherokee/ wedges: So FAB!

Love this back detail

If you notice though, the bag, shoes and my top have one thing in common: they all have woven-in designs.